Would you go for this? (for your wedding?)?
December 10th, 2011 | 
Author: Question by Newlywed!<3: Would you go for this? (for your wedding?)?
My fiance & I are planning a beach wedding. Getting married bare foot on the beach with about 25 of your closest family & friends. My parents then want to throw us a “welcome home BBQ” as their gift to us.
Last week I went to my parents house after work. My parents wanted to have a talk about my fiance & I’s wedding (he wasn’t there). My father pointed to his back yard & said he could dig out a large part of the creek, get a truck load of sand, & a truck load of water, damn up the creek so we could get married by the “beach” Then no 1 would have to travel or get dressed up. Since “traveling & staying at a hotel is a huge inconvenience to everyone invited.” They even had prices of how much it would cost vs. getting married at the beach 14 hours away. Also they would still pay for the BBQ that could just fallow the wedding vs being 2 weeks later like we planned.
My dad is 110% serious. Also told me he wasn’t wearing the shirt we picked out for him unless it was in blue. He said he can’t wait for my fiance & I to be married but doesn’t think the way we are planning out wedding is needed.
Would you really go for a damned up creek with sand in your parents back yard, every one in jeans & a T-shirt?. (work clothes)
I told my parents if that was their feelings then I wouldn’t bother sending them an invite, & they could just skip the BBQ. I will not have a wedding that could be on the show “My Big Red Neck Wedding” As of now my parents are coming into town the morning of my wedding & leaving the next day.
My father is walking me down the isle. So we picked out a shirt in a different color but same style as the groomsman!
Best answer:
Answer by xxShOutxx
I wouldn’t want my parents screwing up my wedding either. So, I would vote against what they say.
After all, it is YOUR wedding day. Not theirs.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
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what state do you live in ??
Dude- it’s your wedding, do what you want.
Personally no, I would not go for a damned up creek and everyone looking casual. That is so tacky. I would rather get married on the beach.
It may because I don’t have my parents any longer, but I think that is a sweet story. He’s gonna trash his whole backyard for you? Warms my heart. But then again, I never had any ideas of a dream wedding.
P.S. Don’t pick out clothes for adults and you won’t have a problem with them not wanting to wear them.
It’s your wedding, you choose… at times you have to say no, so suggestions that people may bring up… but just be nice about it
Good Luck
I wouldn’t mind the backyard wedding, but no matter what, I wouldn’t want everyone in jeans and t-shirts.
It’s YOUR wedding hun! Do what you want to do. It’s your big day and you should be happy. If people won’t go then they won’t go. Don’t stress about it.
Lol, this beats my FMIL telling me to have guests bring their own lawn chairs to my outdoor wedding instead of renting them.
I think that your parents were just trying to keep things easier for everybody but no, I would not go for this. Maybe you can gently explain to your parents that you understand where they are coming from but it is not the wedding day that you are envisioning. You know that it’s a bit out of the way for everybody involved but you would never deny any of your guests their dream wedding based on that and hope that your guests feel the same way about you.
As for your dads shirt, maybe you guys can compramise a bit? I’m sure you don’t want him to feel uncomfortable that day.
OK…I’m a mom and a person who is (resentfully) travelling to a “destination wedding” (my niece’s), so here are my thoughts:
First of all, I think it’s funny the way your dad has this idea. Obviously, he won’t do that. I believe he was just trying to make a point of re-creating your beach wedding more cost effectively! It is funny. Second, to be perfectly honest, I would LOVE to go to a wedding in someone’s backyard provided it was nicely done. NOT a damned up creek with sand poured in the yard! Again, I think he was just trying to make a point.
Now, on your side…if this is your dream then you should go with it. However, people DO resent the fact of paying money to travel; spending money for a hotel, etc.
Seriously, if it was me, I would go with the backyard wedding (nicely done, though!) and insist that your guests NOT wear jeans and t-shirts. I would hope people would not show up in jeans and t-shirts, but if your family and friends would…then you would need to put some sort of dress code on the invite.
Again, a backyard wedding can be done very nicely (tents; music; good food).
I think he’s being kind. I don’t know his personality, but maybe he’s just being nice.
But personally I wouldn’t go for it. Unless he has a really nice house, maybe it would be nice. But it seems like a lot of trouble. I mean digging a creek out? Maybe he’s talking crazy
I would say it’s still be better with your original beach wedding
Oh boy. I can see your parents are well intentioned and are offering to go out of their way for what they see as a totally acceptable alternative. It is hard to say no without looking like a snob. But, this pile of sand will simply not do!
Thank them for the lovely gesture and tell them their backyard would be suited for a lovely garden party, in fact is perfect for the party they are hosting. But you have already started making plans for the beach wedding and need to move forward with that at this point.
As a side note I would feel a little annoyed that people think traveling to your wedding is such an inconvenience. I think their offer however well meant, is more for their comfort than about what you want for your wedding. So don’t budge on it.
that is total BS! a wedding isn’t an inconvenience, it’s a celebration! for those guests who don’t want the expense of traveling to a destination wedding, they can respond to the invitation with a gift and their regrets. I had about 40% of invitees decline to attend my wedding, too bad so sad. I only wanted 100 people there anyway. those who are close to you will make the effort to attend your DW, and those who are distant can just send a gift and stay home. don’t listen to ANY naysayers to try to get you to change your plans. you only get married once god willing, so make sure you have no regrets.