Destination wedding? Picnic reception later?
December 11th, 2011 | 
Author: Question by Newlywed!<3: Destination wedding? Picnic reception later?
We are planning on getting married on the beach. Just inviting our small wedding party, my parents, his mom, his 2 sisters, & my brother who is in the wedding party.
Then coming back home & the next weekend have a picnic style reception. With DJ, kegs, & the normal reception fun. Thrown by my parents. Invites will say thrown by my parents, welcoming home the new mr. &mrs.
I have made other post asking questions about our plans & it seems like some people think its so against wedding “rules”. But when I mention the idea with friends & family that will be invited they say that is the best & cheapest way to go.
What do you think?? Would it make you mad if you weren’t invited to the “wedding” but to the reception later?
We really thought about having a wedding at home…but once we figured out a guest list (I have a huge family mom’s 1 of 5 dad’s 1 or 7 all married with 2-7 kids almost all my age+) But it wasn’t possible/worth it money wise. Then figuring in a honeymoon. Plus bought a house a year ago.
We would do the normal wedding reception things. Dj, dollar dance, bouquet toss etc. We aren’t going to say no gifts but we won’t be checking to see who brought a gift who didn’t. Everyone who comes gets a thank you card that kinda thing. We are having it at a picnic location. The place is indoor out door & going to be well decorated.
The place we are having the picnic does not allow weddings we already asked that was 1 of ours first choices. The only way my parents will pay for anything is if we have the picnic if we have a normal wedding, they will not pay they think it is a waste. His father died 7 months ago, so we refuse to ask his mom for anything.
We want a non religious wedding. So churches are out. We can not pay for everything then have a honeymoon too so that is why we picked a destination wedding.
Dollar dance my fiance isn’t happy about he hates to dance so maybe not have that. Every wedding I went to you get a shot, & a dance with the bride & or groom for your dollar.
iloveweddings—-my parents will pay if we have the picnic. They will not pay if we do it the normal way. We are getting married on the beach so wedding dress tux etc won’t be worn.
Best answer:
Answer by Minty Me
Would it make you mad if you weren’t invited to the “wedding” but to the reception later?
Yes it would, but I’d go the the kegger party anyway and pretend I wasn’t ticked. I wouldn’t feel I was celebrating a wedding though.. it would just feel like a party. Did you want people to bring you gifts and are you going to do things like a bouquet toss??
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I think it would be fun to go to a picnic reception. Have a couple kegs.
No, I would understand that it’s touch economic times….and if you were doing a destination wedding then I would totally understand. It’s expensive to pay for your guests’ transportation and lodging and I think if someone gets offended over that….are they really true friends? Just a thought…..
The actual expense of a wedding is the reception not the ceremony. I don’t understand the idea of inviting all these people to the picnic but not having them in attendance at the ceremony. It’s just something people do these days that I find offensive. I figure if I’m not important enough to actually see you get married I don’t want to be invited to something later so you can get a gift. Get married the day of the picnic and invite everyone.
I answered this yesterday and didn’t like the idea, and that was before I saw you’re having a dollar dance. Seriously?
If you want to do this, just do it. But regardless of what your family is saying, people are going to find it strange, and it’s downright offensive to expect people to pay to dance with you. That would be true even if this was a legit wedding reception!
Would it make me mad? NO, I would still attend if you were family or a good friend.
I DO, however, LOVE the ceremony part. I love the ceremony part more than the reception.
I will never, for the life of me, figure out why brides think a destination wedding then a traditional large reception is saving money. It isn’t. Why don’t you just get married locally? There must be a place even if it’s not at the park.
In all your research, you must have figured out that the RECEPTION is the biggest chunk of money when it comes to “weddings.” It is NOT the ceremony. Then, you add in your airfare, etc. for the destination wedding? NO, I can’t see how it’s cheaper by any stretch of the imagination. And, I imagine you are still inviting all those guests from your mom’s side of the family…the same ones that you said you couldn’t afford to have at the wedding. Huh?
But, your choice. And, yes, I would attend. My husband would LOVE it. He, unlike me, does not care much for the ceremony portion. He is more for the party!
Good luck and congratulations!
I think it’s great. I hate the ceremony part anyway. Also people who are going to wish you well and get you gifts will do so regardless if they are invited to either the wedding or reception.